Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Veteran's Day 2011

Friday is Veteran's Day. Today out of the blue I recieved a gift I can never properly thank Allison or my friends Janet and Joyce for. I recieved a shadow box reflecting my career in the US Army. My name, my sergeant stipes, my MP insiginia and patch, 3rd ID (Rock of the Marne) Patch, my fruit salad and medals. These things reflect my service, but most importantly each one reminds me of someone I served with, something stupid or sarcastic (cause what are the chances that would come out of my mouth) I said at one time, a situation, an alert, and yes even war.

The 3rd ID patch and 18th MP Brigade patch remind me of my 981st family and all the things we did, suffered through and learned. I can still see my former road partner Tim Bryant sleeping on my balcony because he was certain someone was stealing his car when he was snoozing. I can hear Jan Arbter-Anderson laughing her way up the stairwell after a night of drinking. She's the only human being I know who can laugh with a Wisconsin accent. Hearing LT. Spanton say that she liked PFC Graskey because "she does her job and she doesn't complain."

The Kuwait Liberation Medal, and Desert Storm Medal, remind me of my war. I didn't go for oil, I went because it was my job and it was more than worth it. I think my buddy Rene might agree that me not playing the gay card was a good thing. I was given many chances to either run to Canada (my dad's request, but don't bust on him too badly, he was a Vietnam Vet and got hit on Hamburger Hill and agent orange killed him way too young), or play the gay card. It never crossed my mind. Service to Country is a family thing. I don't think what I did is all that special. I had wanted to be a soldier since I was eight years old. I made that happen, I loved doing what I did and I'd like to think I was good at it.

With the exception of the Purple Heart and jump wings I matched my father's record, ten years, one war, lots of fruit salad and bunches of good stories that revolve around rain and mud soaked boots, lots of beer, and stuff that no one would believe is true unless you were there.

My favorite time in the Army was when I was an MP. Once an MP always an MP.

Happy Veteran's Day my fellow brothers and sisters. It was my pleasure to serve with you, drink with you and learn from you.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

DADT Bite Me

Finally, it's over, done, fini, terminado. Anyway you say it, most importantly DONE.

I truly do understand those who do not agree with DADT being repealed. You don't want to serve or have your family member serve with openly gay people. I respect your opinion while I disagree with it.

However (as my former Senior Drill Sgt was fond of saying) I have news for you. You or that family member has already either served or is serving with a gay soldier but until now they could not admit it, no matter how much they wanted to trust you or your family member with that information.

You cannot know how hard it is to come to drill or duty station after a week, weekend, vacation and reduce your relationship to the words "friends, the gang, a group of us," was it fair, probably not considering how many straight soldiers who went on ad nauseum about their wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends, to the point of giving details I would expect to find in playboy and hustler forum magazines (which by the way is a violation of UCMJ - Uniform Code of Military Justice). I know of four married couples in my former reserve unit who were commiting adultery, it was an open secret, but no one ever dropped dime on them. I know of male soldiers pressuring female subordiantes into sexual acts, the upper echelon looked the other way.

I finally refused to play this game. I came out publicly in uniform on the front page of my college newpaper on Coming Out day. Did I violate the UCMJ, yes. Did I know I would lose my career, yes. But I recalled the words of one of 981st Sergeants. He once told me "Sometimes being brave doesn't meaning going along, sometimes it means going against the grain". He truly taught me to stand up even when you know the buzzsaw that is the Army will bite you in the ass. I did violate the rules and I own up to it, and I still want to go back in. I love my country and my army that much. Only this time when I'm asked what I did last weekend I can say "I killed our dinner experiment and had to buy Allison chinse dinner. I swear I don't know why she loves me."

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The things that hit you when you least expect it

I was talking with some friends at work and they were amazed that I'm 45 and a smidge. I take solace in the fact that my sister is 46 and a touch this month. Thanks to learning to drink at an early age (thanks 981st MP Co for that education lol) I'm well preserved. Okay part of it has to do with my Irish and Comanche genes.

Most of my friends at work are 25 and under. We discussed the things I've seen in 45 years. Keep in mind that for some of this I was just a wee bairn and don't recall much. And again thanks to that drinking education (ahem 981st, Hooah) I don't recall all of it but here goes the list. Since 1966...man (read human beings) reached space, the moon, (via technogy even further),American Soldiers have died in Vietnam, Greneda, Lebannon, Panama, the Persian Gulf, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, American Soldiers in Bosnia, Macedonia, Hiati, the Mogadishu Mile as run by the 75th Ranger Battalion, "Black Hawk Down",  Bombs in Tripoli in 86 and current, Women were once WAC's, Women are now fighter zoomies, fly attack helicopters, are General's and Upper echelon NCO's, the Berlin wall was built and fell, I've lived through LBJ, Nixon (I still recall the hearings but only cause they interrupted my afternoon cartoons), Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush jr and Obama.

I was a teenager when video games sprang forth. Yes we had an Atari game console. I was a freshman in high school when MTV began and actually played music video's. Racer X was kewl, Superman was king, Mission Impossible was number one in tv ratings. I was a freshman when John Lennon was assasinated. I grew up with the Beatles, Petula Clarke, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, HeeHaw, Freddy Fender (who according to family legend picked onions in my grandfather's onion field as a young man and still sang back then), Dukes of Hazard, Chips, Swat, Cagney and Lacey, Hill Street Blues. Queen hit the airwaves, the second British invasion of music, U2 emerged. Diana married a Prince.

The space shuttle came and exploded twice, oil embargo and lines at the gas station. Cigarettes were .75 cents a pack. Gas was a dollar a gallon. The cold war was at full speed and then the Soviet State imploded. The Irish Rebublican Army survived even as the British closed in, and then took the war to the English land. The Irish Republican Army imprisoned men and women then went on the hunger strike and dared anyone to look away. The Soviet might invaded Afghanistan, the Olympic Miracle on Ice, Punk Rock, Disco, Pop, 80s music, Milli Vanilli, MLK honored, A Stone wall for Vietnam vets created by a woman who was Vietnamese, Cuban refugees. A Woman's Place in the House in Texas (we still miss you Ann Richards),

Oil spill at Prince William Sound. The ERA (equal rights amendment) failed but raised enough awareness that women fought back loudly, Gay rights began at a small hole in the wall in NY, Ford was saved from a bullet by a gay man, Roe v. Wade guaranteed women rights over their own bodies, Harvey Milk and Mayor Masconni (spelling not my strong suit) assassinated, the Twinkie defense emerges, Did I mention this would not be in order? Super sonic jet airlines, DB Cooper, Hijackers killing a navy man, hijackers killing a man in a wheel chair, Mengele's body finally id'd in Buenos Aires, killing fields in Uganda, Cambodia, Loas, fragmentation of the African Continent, Apartied in South Africa fell because of a man named Nelson Mandela, The Aquino's in the Phillipines rallied a nation against its dictators, anyone remember his and her name? I don't.

Noriega learned to hate Gun's and Rose's. Three popes, priests who've abused children and have gotten away with it, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gayce, The Green River killer, Manson and his followers and all their pleas for mercy.

The twin towers in 93, Waco and the Koresh Compound, Oklahoma City, 9/11, anti government malitias, NRA, gun control, concealed weapons in Texas, politics for money or money for politicians take your pick, Geraldine Ferraro, corporations bargaining for tax abatements and being granted those, Nafta (what a jacked up idea that was) the dot com boom, the credit and building craze and fall, Enron (total fail) Ponzi schemes, Sarin gas in Japan. Katrina, Ike now Irene.

And my special favorite two...the Texas Tech women basketball team winning the national championship. Saying in person, goodbye and thank you to Coach Marsha Sharp after 24 years of just plain good fun and classy basketball teams, in victory and defeat she and her girls were all class. After Katrina she opened her own house to the girls and coaches of Tulane University (and Tech the dorms with the rest of the TTU bball girls). It says something as you retire each road team you visit wear t shirts thanking you.

I'm sure there's more I've forgotten, I'm sure I'll remember more. What have you seen in your lifetime on this earth?


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Ahh life is good

Allison is back home. For the first time in ten days I can sleep without reaching across the bed and wake up thinking "where'd she go?"

It occurred to me that I love having my life entwined with another. The woman's a saint, she puts up with me, she encourages me, she makes me laugh (and people think she's the quiet one in the family. Ha.), she helps take care of her family and mine.

I also realized how lucky I am. My in laws are fantastic. I sent my mother in law a get well bunch of flowers and it came with a stuffed bear. I mean who doesn't like teddy bears. So mom called and thanked me for the thought and the gift, I told her that they had to name said bear.

Allison called me the following day with the name update. After much consideration and odd looks my father in law officially named the bear. His name is now Robear. I should point out that Allison and mom and dad call me Ro. I honestly wish I could have seen dad's face when the lightbulb turned on. I do have to say I know where Allison got her quirky sense of humor.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Wow it's been a while

Ok first off, sorry for the delay. It's been a roller coaster lately. Allison's mom had knee replacement surgery (way messier than last years with floating bone chips and what not), plus pnuemonia complications, but mom is doing a heck of a lot better. I do have to say I love my in-laws. The could have pitched a fit but instead they welcomed me into their home and their family. I am very lucky.

Then we found out my mom has lukemia, CLL to be exact. If you don't know about CLL it is the most common type of lukemia, striking those generally at age 70 and above. If you are early stage and can be controlled by medication you have 20 plus years (as an average if you belive the med pages), if you are not so lucky 3 to 5. Mom is understandably freaked out. The family is waiting for stage testing to find out where mom is and what we have to do to circle the wagons.

My brother and his wife visited during the same time period as all this. In fact the same week. Mike and the brood (my nephews Vincent and Evan are just too damned cute and way smarter than me - which I will address in the future and Crystal my sis in law) entered my house and a very good time was had. My brother even gave Allison a hug. You have to understand that I'm not sure my brother has ever approved of any of my partners. I'm not sure my brother is okay with me being gay. Most of the time Mike and I can't talk without a fight. So this was HUGE. In my family a hug means you ARE family.

My mom hugs Allison, gives her the sign of the cross (understood if you are Catholic) and calls her mija (daughter in Spanish) and tells us both to go to church and say our prayers. In our family that means Allison is accepted.

Allison and I talked about it and decided within maybe ten minutes that if mom needs to come to Dallas, then most likely she would live with us. Actually the conversation went like this:

Me: Mom has lukemia.
Allison: (no words, just a long hug)
Me: (I told her what mom told me over the phone)
Allison: What's the next step?
Me: Stage testing. Mike says he might be able to get a transfer here. He doesn't know. You know we might have to have mom live with us.
Allison: We'll make it work.

The conversation maybe took two minutes the rest was her hugging me and not letting me freak out. I'm the type that has to let it sink in, then we march forward.

Between all this I did a five day with two days off, a six with one day off and a seven day with one day off at work, plus writing 4,700 words on a new writing project. I am quite honestly brain fried. I do have to say that my boss has been very good in the last two weeks about understanding when I zone out, or am just really really tired.

I say for the record that I am a lucky woman in all respects. I have Allison who loves me and supports me despite all my faults and failings, who laughs even when I wasn't trying to be funny, I have a job that I mostly love and a family that drive me nuts but who I also adore.

One of the most interesting things is all my facebook friends who have sent my mother and my family thoughts and prayers. My mom cried (good tears this time) when I told her how many people were pulling for her. She cried harder when I told her how many of my 981st brothers and sisters sent her love and prayers. I'd read off a name and sometimes would say. "Didn't you put his/her name in one of your letters (it was 85 to 88 folks) home?" This cracks me up...my mom can't sometimes recall our last conversation but she knows who my army buddies were.

So there you have it.





Sunday, July 17, 2011

Musing for the Week

Ok, it's been a long week. I picked up a sinus infection which required a doctor's visit and meds and a *gasp* shot. Those of you who served with me will laugh knowing that yes I got light headed when I was shown the needle. I do have to say the lady who pumped my butt full of antibiotics was very good at it and it didn't actually hurt. I managed not to pass out.

However the sinus pills, the horse pill anti biotics and steroid laced inhaler give me some freaking wild dreams. They could make a book if I could remember them.

This week has been budget crisis and world cup soccer. Go Ladies, good luck to both teams but I'd like the US women to win, just because for the first time in a long time they are under dogs. I like the under dog teams, those are the teams with the most heart, they have nothing much to lose and everything to win.  Budget crisis. It took a lot to get us here and it wasn't just one party, so people from both parties quit your bitching and just get it done.

I say for the record that I am a democrat who believes in a strong military (I know oxymoron but it happens) fiscal responsiblilty but with responsiblity from all sides. How is it that I have to pay my taxes and yet big business doesn't, those making over 350K a year don't and mega corporations don't? As I understand it and yes, I've read the books on this one, the President (and no I don't agree with everything he does) wants to restore the pre Bush tax levels for those who make more than 350k. How is that raising taxes? The simple answer is that is doesn't, it simply takes those cuts away from them. Got news for those who buy into scare tactics from members of both parties who don't agree with this...at some point you have to pay for your fair share, there are still loopholes you can hide money in. If I were to win a mondo lottery tomorrow I would still pay the taxes on it, and not try to scurry it away. How much money does a person need to live anyway? You want all the security that tax money brings but you don't want to pay your fair share? Shaking my head.

For those of you who follow blindly and believe everything you read on FOX News...the cliff is just over the hill...beware the hill and quit following the butt in front of you.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Really? No notice? What about being loyal to your employee's?

I work in a hotel where we have a Bliss Spa. I'm really wanting to try the eucalyptus steam shower. The employee's who could have gone elsewhere when the Steiner Company of New York bought them for a kaboodle of money have now discovered that the company is no longer covering domestic partners under the health insurance. Really? And with no notice.

As the company is based in NY, I could almost see the reason for ending domestic partner benefits, but as a young woman who works at my hotel location says "I live in Texas, I'm not legally allowed to marry my girlfriend."

The second kick in the ass to those who have been loyal to this company, no notice. This company did this without telling anyone. Which I thought you had to do as an insurance company. It's called reasonable notice, not only for the discontinuation of services but for the increase in premium payments.

What is she and her partner supposed to do if there's a catostrophic illness? She certainly won't get her money back (all those years of paying premiums without getting sick and "costing" the insurance company money). Shaking my head.

Before you blow this information off, what about those straight couples who choose not to get married, will they still be covered? What if you are married and your insurance gets cut off to your spouse? It's all the same wheel no matter what you label it. How are insurance companies able to get away with this without notice?

So as part of my little protest I won't be enjoying that steam bath or massage that I truly need from Bliss Spa. My Bliss girls understand even while they are shaking their heads.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

What is a Tower Rat?

I'm tired and about to go to bed. Then it hit me. What is a Tower Rat and how many people know the term?

A Tower Rat is a member of the United States Military who protects with their life a post where sensitive items are placed.

They can be Army (hooah), Air Force, Navy, Marine or Coast Guard. In my case it was the Army (hooah. Get used to that term if you plan on spending time here). We guarded sensitive items during the cold war, we were the smallest NATO site in Europe and we were the only MP company rated to blow our own site.

We were misfits, drinkers, fighters, arrogant (but we damned well earned it), lovers, poets, realists, short timers, Christians, non Christians, crazy and not so crazy, adventurer's and barracks rats and lifers. We may not have always liked each other, but we learned to respect each other, back each other and even now, twenty five years later welcome each other with a hug and the word "brother" or "sister". We faced the prospect of the soviet and east german armies coming over the line and each time somone brought that up we said "bring em'". We were that confident, that proficient. The 981st MP Company never failed an inspection, never faced a closure until we were declassed by the government and forced to close, the only time we failed is when we lost one of our own due to a training accident.

Even to this day we honor our fallen. Cpl Russell "Ordinary" Smith. He was ours and we still mourn him. If you don't remember where you came from, how the heck do you decide where you're going?

I recall a night on CQ (charge of quarters), your basic fireguard and general dogsbody, checking things downstairs...low lights, turning away from the arms room door and walking the hallway...I had a soldier walk up to me and slightly pass me...I said ...hey...he nodded...and walked away...I'm thinking 'he's working late'.  Twenty four years later on a company facebook site I see my first picture of "Ordinary" Smith. I nearly fell off my seat. The same soldier who nodded at me...a year and nearly half after he had died. The 981st still loves Ordinary. We still honor him. I saw him and have shared this with my 981st mates. They actually believe me. Tower Rats have seen a lot of shite, and sometimes the things we have seen would boggle the mind.

Random things running around in my head

Why is it that at 0210 there are still fools setting off fireworks in a state where a burn ban is in effect? Do you people not watch the news? Have you not looked at the rain free sky for the last three weeks? And damn it I do not react well to things that sound like gunfire, artillery and rockets.

I really wanna talk to your mom and toss you under the bus.

And before I lay my head down to sleep I will say a prayer for those who have given their lives so that this country (read politicians of all parties) can bicker, and blame, reap under the table money and lie, cheat their country and spouses (cause not just the men cheat) could step away from the crown. I'm not sure the Continental Army figured on this when they signed their mark and marched away from home.

Arrrrrgggg....*head thimping on computer*...

Dec 85 to Apr 88...not 86 dang it you'd think I could remember when I was all green and mottled and carrying a large weapon that could make the bad guys day really, really bad. sigh.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Screeetch...back up...I fubar'd.

Ugh...I so need a live editor...other than my poor brain...it is 45 ya know. I was stationed in Germany from Dec 85 to Apr 86. My Da passed from us in 91. I know I skipped a lot, but hey I did mention that it was the reader's digest version.

Welcome to my blog...pardon the mess and contruction

So I finally jumped into the water (please note that I cannot swim and must therefore use a floatie device that strongly resembles Snoopy).

Until I figure out all this stuff, a little about me. I'm old. Okay 45 isn't old I just thought I'd make you think and wonder. I am from Texas and much to my displeasure the only of my siblings not born in Texas (you have no idea how much this annoys me). I am a veteran of the US Army Military Police Corps...that's pronounced Core not corpse, please note. I am a veteran of the Persian Gulf War back in 91.

Drum roll...short history. Born, got to New Mexico near the Texas border where my mother's family lived, moved to Texas when mom got married the second time, grew up (sort of), joined the army before graduation on the delayed entry program, graduated, left for basic training to be a Military Police Officer, met my father while in training (long story, I'm sure you'll hear it at some point), stationed in cold war Germany from Dec 86 to April 88, left the Army for 11 months and discovered I missed something I was damn good at, signed up for the Reserves while in college (Texas Tech University Guns Up), went to war, figured out I was one) gay and two) a freaking lousy student, three not very good at relationships. Landed in DFW area since my older sis lived here, helped for a year or so with her three kids, watched them move, flew to Milwaukee to help my step mom while my Da (Irish slang for father) was sick with lung cancer (wait till you hear those rants), buried my Da, came back to Dallas, wrote a couple or three books that were actually published by small presses and worked security for hotels.

Now I can say I'm getting better with the whole relationship thing (or maybe not, you'd have to ask Allison, the woman I wish I could marry in my home state instead of going elsewhere), still working hotel security, still writing and still talking and thinking.

So welcome to my world, and my thoughts. I warn you...some days I am a cartoon character, some days my thoughts are dark, some days I don't have a thought at all.